Snow Topped

The tops of the mountains have officially welcomed their first snowflakes of the season.  When the morning fog finally dissipated yesterday afternoon, we noticed there was indeed snow on Mt. Si. A lovely back drop for pumpkin patching as it turns out.

 It feels like ages and at the same time just days since our last snow fall which was coincidentally the last time I wrote anything of note.  Reflecting on the past year has brought to light the necessity of time. Our first year of marriage flew by in every wonderful way. The last year of graduate school has crept along and it seems like eons ago since my classmates and I said our official goodbyes at our “End of the classroom, on to internships” graduation party this past June. I feel like I have lived in North Bend for awhile now and yet at the same time feel brand new. Like I just started living in this town, just beginning to think of this church as my own. Just starting to understand which fork of the river goes where. People can welcome you and invite you and accept you, but when you still have memories of the old people welcoming and inviting and accepting, it’s difficult to jump in; to start over and be present fully. And yet at the same time I wouldn't want to just forget the past- when I was known by so many and felt like I had the honor of knowing so many stories. It’s a complicated balance, starting over with one story and continuing on with another and trying to blend them all together. Some say we are limited by time as if this is a negative thing, but I think the limitation is what makes time special. We only have so much of it. We never have an excess. And nothing can ever replace it. There’s no duplicate of time, so we're to be patient with it. Let God use time to His limitless advantage while all the while finding that precarious balance between waiting on Him and taking action in Him. Today though, since it’s a Sunday, I’m okay being patient. Just to sit and watch the snow line creep closer to town, closer to the river, closer to home. 

fresh snow, fresh starts.

Friends. Hello. It's been roughly a year and a half. And after spending the past 3 months debating on whether to continue with this blog or start anew, here I am on good ol' efforts to love anyways. 

I had thoughts of dedicating an entirely new and wonderful blog to my "new" life- a master's student, married, a pastor's wife. But as I glanced at this little guy, I realized that though a year and a half has gone and I have gone through some changes, my main goal is still the same. I looked at the title, efforts to love anyways, and thought, "yep." That's still me. Sentiments of a girl walking with her father- "Mmmm. That's lovely. I need to do that more." So though I do not want to understate the fact that I am now in graduate school, married, and currently living in a snow globe- I'm going to have to. Just for now. I've got other things that need processing.

Holy smokes. 

 First thing on the radar? Are you ready? This is truly unique. I'm trying to process the snow. Like everyone else in Seattle. We get 1 and 1/2 inches and we're all leaving work early and wondering if school will be cancelled. In public I play it cool. Living in a mountain town now I especially try to play my cards right. "Oh is it snowing? Huh," I say nonchalantly at the church. Little do these innocent church members know, I spent the majority of Saturday night checking the weather channel app and opening up the front door to check outside. Our little home is so small that every time I opened the front door the heater kicked on. Eventually my dear husband explained to me the whole "can't watch a pot boil" thing and told me to take a break from playing weather girl. I didn't. 

Why the panic? Why the joy? Why the lack of snow plows in Seattle? I have come up with an answer: Grace. We all need it, yearn for it even if we don't always recognize the need as such. I pulled over on the side of the road today and found this: 

Grace. 

Isn't it beautiful? Pure, white, lovely grace. This river looks different with every season and I can't help but grieve when it's not as its best. When I see cans of Red Bull and cigarettes and an old t-shirt lining its edges. And then this snow comes, an entity we can't control and its just all covered up. I know it is still there and will need to be dealt with. But what a nice break for the river. To be beautiful again, just as it was created with no rough edges and no flaws. My favorite thing about snow? When it dumps. It dumps right on you and breaks your original plans and stops everything and evens the playing field. And grace dumps. It dumps right on us and should startle us into making changes and living in the light and  seeing things as they were meant to be. Seeing ourselves as hopeful, beautiful, covered beings. Covered by His love and fresh starts.