I had thoughts of dedicating an entirely new and wonderful blog to my "new" life- a master's student, married, a pastor's wife. But as I glanced at this little guy, I realized that though a year and a half has gone and I have gone through some changes, my main goal is still the same. I looked at the title, efforts to love anyways, and thought, "yep." That's still me. Sentiments of a girl walking with her father- "Mmmm. That's lovely. I need to do that more." So though I do not want to understate the fact that I am now in graduate school, married, and currently living in a snow globe- I'm going to have to. Just for now. I've got other things that need processing.
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| Holy smokes. |
First thing on the radar? Are you ready? This is truly unique. I'm trying to process the snow. Like everyone else in Seattle. We get 1 and 1/2 inches and we're all leaving work early and wondering if school will be cancelled. In public I play it cool. Living in a mountain town now I especially try to play my cards right. "Oh is it snowing? Huh," I say nonchalantly at the church. Little do these innocent church members know, I spent the majority of Saturday night checking the weather channel app and opening up the front door to check outside. Our little home is so small that every time I opened the front door the heater kicked on. Eventually my dear husband explained to me the whole "can't watch a pot boil" thing and told me to take a break from playing weather girl. I didn't.
Why the panic? Why the joy? Why the lack of snow plows in Seattle? I have come up with an answer: Grace. We all need it, yearn for it even if we don't always recognize the need as such. I pulled over on the side of the road today and found this:
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| Grace. |
Isn't it beautiful? Pure, white, lovely grace. This river looks different with every season and I can't help but grieve when it's not as its best. When I see cans of Red Bull and cigarettes and an old t-shirt lining its edges. And then this snow comes, an entity we can't control and its just all covered up. I know it is still there and will need to be dealt with. But what a nice break for the river. To be beautiful again, just as it was created with no rough edges and no flaws. My favorite thing about snow? When it dumps. It dumps right on you and breaks your original plans and stops everything and evens the playing field. And grace dumps. It dumps right on us and should startle us into making changes and living in the light and seeing things as they were meant to be. Seeing ourselves as hopeful, beautiful, covered beings. Covered by His love and fresh starts.
